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Aerobics Anonymous: Sucker Punch Your "Cardiovascular Training-Junkie" Clients with Russian Kettlebell Snatch Training

July 20, 2010 05:57 AM

We know who they are. Clothing bought just to look good on the treadmill. Alarm clocks set for 0445 to provide them a chance to be the first hamster on the wheel when the club opens at 0530. iPods charged, shoes tied tight, and a body that looks exactly the same as it did three years ago when they signed up at Planet Weakness, or whatever club-chain they belong to. The Olive Garden of fitness. And, like Pavel once said "Fitness is for sissies".

But they pay you money? Every now and then a hamster will come down off the wheel and ask you a question because they see you teaching your classes high rep maneuvers. They heard from a pal that you teach classes outside and once a month you do a 'man-maker'. They read in a magazine that some namby-pampby celeb trains with Latvian cattle-balls or Tunguskan kettle-drums or whatever they think they heard… Regardless of how stupid they sound, it is money in your pocket and another body to screen, train, and progress. So let's get them happy.

You train in a franchise, you own your own gym, you train outdoors. Great… Do you know how to convert them? Do you know that while they are working on building great swing form, you can drop a MAX V02 15:15 protocol on them and set them up for a lifetime of success [provided they so what you say]? It is that easy.

I believe that we should not devalue The Dane of Pain's research and 15:15 protocol by inserting any exercise we want into the format, but we can prep them for the 15:15 work:rest ratio when they are in their training infancy. Here is an example of a day one progression for a client with no medical indications to limit them.

Session one of ten: Medical History and Functional Movement Screen, joint mobility and breathing. Finish with 5 minutes of Jumping rope, clock their heart rate if you please.

Session 2 of 10: Review breathing and invoke mobility prep, foundation drills, and get them ready for neutral spine and hip hinging work.
1. Kettlebell dead-lift
2. Silverback deadlift, Pendulum swing, review breathing.
3. If they are clear, teach them the hike pass and let them swing a few reps.
4. Drop them to the ground and teach shoulder packing.
5. 5 minutes of swing practice with 15:15 work:rest.

Very simple, very effective. Naturally, the first five minutes that someone swings a bell Hardstyle are going to be minutes that they will forever remember [ask Michael Castrogiovanni RKC Team Leader] yet you can embed the 'aerobic' template in any runner's head from day one. Yes, I am talking about runners.

Anyone who performs mindless repetitive motion is at a risk, from computer geeks to grocery store heroes, yet, runners pound concrete with such emotional savagery, that to pry them away from their habits would be, well, akin to selling democracy in the middle east. They run to forget about names they were called as a kid, to forget the 1,001 parenting commitments they have that week, and to strip off body-fat that, oddly enough, just won't come off [ahem. . . ].

Rather than telling your client that running is bad for the knees, Pavel says cushy shoes are instant death, and that a sprinter has the body they really want, embed the aerobic huff-and-puff in their head from square one. If they can safely swing a bell, then you can sucker punch them with KJ's science. Show them that Body Blast, Butt Blast, Flirty Girl workouts, Ab Swivels, Ab Circles, Cardio Stripper Classes, Phenomenal Abdominal, and Tae-Jitsu-Pump classes were just a means of separating them from their money.

When the time comes, after they have been working perfect get ups for a while and their FMS scores correspond to a green light for snatches, take them by the hand and lead them into the realm of strong, striated arm muscles, cool heads, and poppin' hips. They may still show up for their session with all their fancy gear on, but as they nurse themselves on the MAX V02 protocol, watch the ball caps, colorful shoes, and high-speed wrist watches get left in the car.

Will Williams, Senior RKC